what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
