what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
