I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
