here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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