Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
