Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
