Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
