K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
