I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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