Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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