She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
