and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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