normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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