If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
