So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
