my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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