census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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