please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
