just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
