Drunk walkin through police station. America
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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