Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Randomize
