I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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