im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
