brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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