fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think your dad took our porno
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize