I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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