and next time when you feel me up, do it right
vagina is talking i cant
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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