Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dear god my vagina.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
