What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
