mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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