Are we in a gay sports bar?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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