He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
