everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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