Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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