Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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