No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
