I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He felt like a one man threesome
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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