also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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