Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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