just survived the first fart of the relationship.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
