oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
