DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
