Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
