Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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