Kiss
Puke
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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