Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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