1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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