girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
