my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
