do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
